actually, I'm a sock model
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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