You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
