Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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