I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i dont even know how to be here
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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