you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
