I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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