i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
