Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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