operation have a gay friend backfired
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
