Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
