no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
