That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
