shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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