try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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