oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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