You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
