well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
