you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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