I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
