it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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