I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize
