How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
