youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
