it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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