so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
