i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
