Welp...herpes.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
