Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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