Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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