Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
