It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
