make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
