I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
