I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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