you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
