What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Still dying that you shit outside
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
