Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
