I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
