At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
