I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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