Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
