Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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