I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
