dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We need a shit load of segways right now
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
