Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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