he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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