it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We have started to decorate penises.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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