omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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