Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize