drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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