yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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