No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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